The space around me brightens as my eyes adjust to the darkness. I see a sun far off, millions of miles away and yearn for its warmth. It smiles oddly and tells me that the operation was a success, and it hands me a key card. The ring now sits next to my bed on a small table, and I don't cry. I accept the piece of integrated metal as my only reward and stand, ready to take on my role as a pilot of my people.
I'm above myself. Beyond my being. My neck is cut open; wires are being inserted into it, and a hole is drilled in my skull. Suddenly it all blurs and readouts cloud my vision. Temperature, velocity, transversal, shields, armor status, weapon mounts, and more. The teacher tells me I am ready, and pats me on the shoulder as he hands me my first beer. I optimize the systems with a few quick adjustments, and grab the can, open it and drink.
The beer flows around my face and I wipe it away in the zero gravity, questioning the validity of even this seemingly empty space. I sense I may be imagining it and that I'll wake up at any time. I am not dead yet, and it all seems too...manufactured. The placement of the can, the likelihood of a bridge breach and no self destruct activation sequence. After all, simulations are usually very expansive and contain tricks to encourage you to excel. But what exactly could a simulated death prove? What could it show?
The old man...
He is all I see now.
Life. Death.
I wish I was able to gaze in awe at the tremendous power of the universe as my blood froze.
I wish my wife was still here.
I wish I could feel warm again...I am so cold. Everything is so slow....
Its so sad...
ReplyDelete:(
even better than the last
ReplyDeleteInteresting read, I have to say I didn't really follow the first time through. However, after reading it again, I can imagine a man and his wife on some space mission which goes wrong and they're consequently killed (almost killed in his case) and he's been re-manufactured as a cyborg with his creators intending for him to revenge the attack.
ReplyDeleteHe has reservations about it though, he seems to wish that he was just in her arms again, feeling her warmth. Maybe he wishes he never awoke after the attack; he wouldn't be missing her so much that way.
This is heavy, dude.
ReplyDeletewow cool writing - following
ReplyDelete@Jesse Close, but it's my fault. The original version is what i've posted so far, and it has its flaws (like a confusing story).
ReplyDeleteHopefully it'll REALLY clear up once the whole thing is online.
wow the feelings you describe are so real!
ReplyDeleteI love the detail you put in your writing.
ReplyDelete